Not all joy and fun. Difficulties of adaptation in a new country. | Blog Spoko

Moving to a foreign country is almost like flying to another planet. Everything needs to be done from scratch – getting to know the new culture and customs, building personal infrastructure, constantly learning something.

For those on a way to leaving motherland or just planning to do so, it’s very important to keep in mind, that besides numerous bureaucratic issues you will most definitely face some psychological difficulties of settling down abroad.

It’s widely known that developing any positive habit (e.g. eating healthier or drinking 2 liters of water a day) usually takes about 1 month. Going through the emigrant adaptation stages might take a lot longer – it will depend on your personal situation, positive approach, and stress tolerance level.

Stage #1. “Rainbows and pots of gold”

This magical period can be described with a single sentence “I’ve finally done it”. You are leaving behind a stash of documents that had to be done, long lists of stuff that had to be packed, exhausting flights that had to be taken – it’s all over, you can start enjoying the new place.

The feeling would be as if you are in a new relationship and your partner’s absolutely flawless (as everyone is in the very beginning). Everything around you would look better than at home – stores, buildings, nature. Everyone wishes that stage to last forever. Well, unfortunately, it does not.

Stage #2. “The fear and panic”

It would very soon become obvious that being an “Englishman in New York” is a pretty good metaphor to describe how difficult it is to be a stranger abroad. You are no longer a tourist, and everyone expects you to behave, speak and act like a local.

Some might need to study, another – start a career from the lowest low. And the fact that you’ve already done it in the homeland might at the very least upset you. Not being able to speak the language usually makes everything even worse. And one day you might find yourself sitting in the apartment having zero desire to go out into the world until it gets better.

Stage #3. “I go out, so it could get better”

Nothing will change unless you do something about it. So sooner or later you will have to start learning about how to pay utilities, get a credit card, or the doctor’s appointment for your kid.

Your frustration will be infused by the fact that “groceries are odd”, “medical aid is weird” and “this problem could be solved in 5 back at home”. Many people start questioning their choices and thinking about whether they’ve made a wrong one? Or maybe they want to give the new country a chance against all odds?

Stage #4. “A recovering patient”

You are still not ready to do a victory dance at the main square, but already capable to manage a supermarket walk. Do you feel excited about meeting new people and getting to know their cultural differences? If the answer’s yes, you are out of the depression curve.

This is a time when you are actively integrating into society. You study, work, develop a network of casual acquaintances and (possibly) friends. Your grumpy thoughts gradually fade into a daily routine of interesting activities. And it becomes nearly impossible to find time for “motherland nostalgia”.

Stage #5. “The Final One”

At this point you can impartially judge the other country, being able to see the good and the best. You start having thoughts about staying here for a long time (maybe even forever). And being able to speak the language and having your everyday life organized eventually brings you to a point where you can relax and enjoy your life.

This stage is over when the thought of your motherland feels more like an aftertaste from the trips to visit the dear ones. You enjoy it but also have this absolute confidence – I have a new home now.

Regardless of which stage you are at right now, keep in mind one most important thing – nothing lasts forever. Tomorrow is a new day and it’s going to be better. Also please note, that if your sadness and depression persist, it might be worth seeking professional psychological help.